Everyone else is doing them, thought it was time I had a go.
In a season where many of its established stars have faded into obscurity, the Premier League has been at its most surprising and entertaining over the last nine months. So how to round it all up? The following prize giveaway, The Beavers 2011, if you will, are the latest attempt to define the most notable Premiership peaks and troughs.
Breakthrough of the season
Jack Wilshere - This was the year he became an Arsenal and England regular. A position he is likely to occupy for the next decade.
Signing of the season
Yaya Toure - Often understated but always effective. The epitome of the midfield dynamo; his bursts from midfield are devastating and his eight goals included the winner in the FA Cup final. Can't for the life of me think why Barcelona sold him, but their decision has helped propel Manchester City into the Champions League.
Javier Hernandez also deserves an honourable mention for always popping up with a goal when United really needed one.
Shock of the season
R**n G***s shagging Imogen Thomas. Genuinely tarnished my view of one of my biggest sporting idols.
Comedy moment of the season
European leagues qualify here, so I can include the moment Sergio Ramos dropped the Copa del Rey off the side of Real Madrid's victory coach. Crunch.
Manager of the season
Owen Coyle - He turned Bolton into an interesting team. There has to be an award for that. But additionally, his side were in the Premiership top four, they never once got involved in a relegation fight, they turned Daniel Sturridge into one of England's hottest prospects and they scored more goals at home than Arsenal. Boom.
Sacking of the season
Roy Hodgson - Saved both Liverpool and West Brom's seasons. He is now back in the running for the England job.
Flop of the season
Joe Cole - At the World Cup, we screamed for him to come off the bench. He was the one to make the difference. His arrival at Anfield was supposed to revolutionise both the player and the club's fortunes; as it turns out the Reds did just fine without him. The pace has gone, defenders can read his tricks before he makes them, and the goals have dried up. Potentially a cheap pick up during the coming transfer window.
Twat of the season
David Sullivan - Refused to sack the worst manager in West Ham, if not Premier League, history, publicised a botched attempt to recruit Martin O'Neill and Steven Sidwell, and was only too happy to admit defeat at times it was totally inappropriate to. Today's defeat was probably our worst display of the season, and the majority of our starting 11 chose to not even turn up. It's painfully clear what that says about the way the club is run.
(Twat #2, Robbie Savage. You're not a pundit mate.)
Game of the season
Newcastle 4 Arsenal 4 - A game that defined Arsenal's season. Occasionally sublime but ultimately shambolic. Check Tioté's last-minute volley also qualifies for its own award as 'Jump out of your seat moment of the season'.
Team of the season
Blackpool - They were more fun than anyone else by a mile. They ended up one point from Premiership survival, and scored more goals than anyone else in the bottom half of the league. For a team containing the likes of Ian Evatt, Keith Southern and Brett Ormerod, that is really quite amusing.
Goal of the season
Nedum Onuoha v Chelsea - The most surprising result of the season was capped by Sunderland's centre-back beating three Chelsea defenders and clipping a delightful finish across goal, while off balance. Has not scored since. Worth waiting for the next one though.
#2 - Jermaine Beckford v Chelsea from today. Are you kidding me?!
Player of the season
Joe Hart - It's worth pointing out that Man City aren't fantastic defensively. Vincent Kompany aside, the players back there are ordinary. Yet Hart has kept more clean sheets than any other keeper, and that is why his side ultimately finished third. He also established himself as England's number one for a generation. Had Arsenal made their move for him last summer, they would have had silverware, no doubt about it.
And that's your lot. Further contributions are welcome and may well be entered for the Beavers 2012.
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